Am I my mother?

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Sometimes when I catch myself in the mirror, I feel like I'm looking at my mom.

She's been gone nine years now. We had a long distance relationship for all of my adult life. I had a six month old baby whom she had yet to meet when she died unexpectedly.

We had turned that odd parent/child corner where I worried more about her than she did about me. She was a breast cancer survivor. The treatment had left her with diabetes. She still drank. We don't know why she died. Could have been the alcohol, could have been allergies to mold in her condo.

Mom was the most successful practioner of denial I ever met. She lived beyond her means. She never had a real job, though she dabbled in a few pyramid schemes. Her career was as an army wife. She was good at it, too. When it ended in divorce afer 30 years she couldn't or wouldn't submit to the structure of a regular job. She was an artist, and a free spirit. She couldn't pay her taxes on time, so she didn't. She figured something would happen to make it all right. And as often as not, something or someone would rescue her.

So how did straight-A, rule-following, structured me turn into somebody with a $20K overdue tax bill?

The apple falls not far from the tree?

Except I know that I'm the only one piloting the rescue chopper in my life.

Miss you mom. Wish you could see how much your grandchildren are like you. Prissy wants to be an artist. Paul is learning to play the guitar. They both love to sing as you did.

Hope you are happy. I'm working on it.

Would that we could take the best parts of our parents and leave the rest.

Middle school clubs are such a deal

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I don't know why it is that middle schoolers, at least the kids at Prissy's school, have such a great choice of afterschool clubs that cost, well, nothing. All the activities for younger kids--drama, soccer, music--are really expensiver around here.

But Prissy participates in the engineering club, the knitting club, the photography club, and the drama club every day for an hour or so after school, at no charge to us.

And, on days when there are no clubs scheduled, she can safely hang out at the youth center, conveniently located in  her school building. The cost of that is just $40 a year.

Maybe this is a slight compensation for the fact that childcare for kids over 13 is not tax deductible.

I know the school gets a private grant to pay advisors for the clubs.

As an example of what a great deal we are getting, Prissy was in a play last night. The last play she was in cost $150 to participate, plus "optional expenses" like the gala tickets, performance tickets, basic costume wardrobe, the DVD of the performance, etc. etc. etc. While we got a grant for half the participation cost, the extras add up big time.

But last night's place cost nothing. No participation fee. No white tights and black shoes to purchase.  No tickets to buy. No DVD. No raffle to contribute to. Nothing. Nada.

Such a deal.

And, there were only 12 people in the play, they all had speaking roles, and they all got way more experience than they would have in a larger production.

I haven't got anything against larger productions. But the drama club is such a deal.

Another extravagance

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I think I'll rename this blog "Polly Whinges."

The seal on my environmentally-friendly front loading Bosch washing machine has disintegrated. 

Where do you suppose the money for the expensive repair is going to come from?

Just call me Job.

Confession--the crazy leftover lady

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OK, this isn't good. There was a whole plate of leftover sandwiches from a catered work event I attended today. I looked at them and calculated they could feed my family for a day or so. So I brought them home, carrying them waitress-style through the parking lot. At least I left the brownies. Nobody here needs them.

How long before I turn into the crazy lady who stuffs her purse from the buffet?

Bounce

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Meeting the mortgage payment is a tricky proposition chez Poorhouse.  I have an automatic payment set in my online banking system. But since the mortgage is due monthly and the paychecks are bi-weekly, and since the mortgage payment is more than my paycheck net, I often have to make adjustments. The good news is I have a 15 day grace period, and things are better so that I'm often paying the mortgage before that grace period expires.

The bad news is that my online banking system goes into "processing" mode a few days before the payment is scheduled, so if I forget to go in far enough in advance when I have a bad month (like when I have to fork out an extra $2300 for car repairs-grrr), and change the date, it's too late to make a change, and everything goes boing boing.

And my bank is not stupid.  They boing the biggest check first, so that all the other little payments will also bounce. At $39 a pop.

It never ever ends.

I think I may be something of a culinary genious

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Or so said Bridget Jones. Our slow cooker is still getting a workout, though we are getting a little tired of the pot roast/stew and root veggies combo.  Last week we had a pot roast and Mr. Poorhouse's famous mushroom gravy.

But the genius came the next day when I sauteed some shallots, added leftover thin sliced pot roast, leftover mushroom gravy, a bit of light sour cream, and voila, had a quick beef stroganoff. We served it over whole wheat noodles and with my favorite spring treat--sauteed fiddlehead ferns (in more shallots and garlic.) Hmmm.

Saving Money on Braces

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After my post whining about the cost of braces, a friend gave me a brilliant idea for saving money on braces. Dental schools offer orthodontia at a discount.  I'm not sure what the savings might be, but I suspect 10-20 percent. I'd be interested in hearing from readers about your experiences.

When I was younger I did get optical care from a local university. I've got bad eyes and weird problems, and they loved showing me off to their students. I didn't mind. In that case it wasn't a financial issue. At any rate, I always felt like I got good care.

A little victory

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Starving and late for a conference this morning, I pulled into a Burger King drivethrough. I know, I know! But those biscuit sandwiches are my weakness.

After the fourth time the voice at the end of the squawkbox asked me to repeat my order, I decided I didn't need to spend the money or the calories, and drove away.

I was on a roll. I only had a little bit of coffee roll rather than the whole Princess Leia-sized hairbun-shaped thing at the conference. I also passed up the chocolate pudding at lunch in favor of fruit. I even gave the late afternoon biscotti a pass.

I'm feeling very virtuous. But it isn't easy.

School lunches, healthy and cheap

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Mr. Poorhouse and I watched all of Jaime Oliver's Food Revolution episodes this week.

We saw the documentary King Corn a few months ago, and have been thinking a lot about how subsidizing corn production introduces inefficiencies in our food system, making corn syrup super cheap and attractive as an ingredient for, well, everything.

I should mention that we are by no means food purists. Our freezer has hot pockets along with frozen veggies, and we buy our share of packaged foods.

Still, I was really outraged that the lunch guidelines in place in Huntington, WV counted french fries as a vegetable! And I was shocked to see the six year olds who could not identify the commonest of vegetables. Shocked, I tell you!

The only thing about Jamie's philosophy I don't quite buy into is the danger of having your kids bring a sack lunch. He said that it is cheaper, and could be healthier, with the reforms he is promoting, for kids to have a hot meal at lunch.

Well, I can't afford for my kids to buy lunch at school. And of course we aren't eligible for subsidized lunches. We send them with a bag lunch every day. As a matter of fact, they pack their own lunches these days. Sure, we have to get on them to make sure they aren't just bringing cookies and juice.

It is kind of sad that many parents send a junk food lunch in a bag or money to buy a junk food lunch at school. What are we thinking? 

Braces

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Because we don't have enough to worry about, fate has sent us a new financial concern:  Braces for the pre-teen.

I had braces in 7th and 8th grade, but I also had a terrible overbite. Mr. Poorhouse did not have braces, and his teeth remain straight.

Twelve year old Prissy Poorhouse has very straight teeth, but a very small mouth. The dentist anticipates braces next year when her permanent teeth are almost all in.

Braces in my area apparently run $5-6K. Of course they do.

How bad a parent am I if I say, "Hey kid, your smile looks fine to me. If you want to get it fixed to perfection after you're grown, knock yourself out."?

Amex puts Polly in the doghouse

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Having another cash flow problem.  Due to an expensive transmission repair which you can read about here if you're interested, I don't have the cash right now I thought I had to pay for the Poorhouse children's childcare this summer. I'll have it in two weeks when I next get paid. The problem is that there is only one viable option for the last few weeks of summer around here. Last year, we got closed out of the program because we registered too late, and had no child care.

(Remind me to do a rant on child care scheduling sometime. But not today. Today I rant on American Express.)

My American Express card proclaims that I've been a cardmember since 1984. Apparently that and a Diet Coke will give you a caffeine buzz for half an hour.

Two years ago, I was late on my Amex payments, along with all my other payments. I brought them current. American Express lowered my spending limit to $1000. This was a problem, because I used it mostly for business travel, which nearly always costs more than $1000. But I could kinda see their issue. They wanted to make sure they got their money.  So I stopped using the card, because it wasn't helpful to me.

About a year ago I called them and asked them to increase my spending limit. I have a job, and I can pay off my bills now. No, they said, we need at least a 6 month history of on-time bill payments. So I went back to not using it.

Fast forward to this morning, I whipped my card out of the back of my wallet and tried to use it to pay for camp for this summer. Declined. Hmm, I thought, thought I, Perhaps it's that pesky $1000 limit. I tried another transaction, this time, with only a few of the camp weeks charged. Declined.

So I went online to see my account status. Imagine my surprise to discover that my card had been cancelled!

Jason, the American name of a card services rep from India that I got on the phone, told me that they had cancelled the card in January for inactivity. Could they reinstate it?  No, because the reinstatement request was not within 3 months of cancellation. In a plot worthy of Joseph Heller, Jason suggested I apply for a new card. I did. My application was declined.

This nightmare will never ever end, will it? I'm paying off my debt. All of my bills and various payment plans are current. I have a good job. My husband is employed.  We are trying so hard, but we just can't catch a break.

You've Got Mail--from the IRS

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Those three little words used to strike fear into my heart. Not this year. My recent letter from the IRS tells me that they confiscated my $3K tax refund to pay my back taxes. Yay! No, seriously, I'm happy about that. Now I only owe $6500. Sounds like a lot, but it's way more manageable than the $20K I started with 2 years ago. With my monthly payment plan and next year's confiscation, I might be out of their dark dark woods by this time next year.

The icing on the cake is that I got a similar letter from the state department of revenue. They confiscated $550, and after one more payment on my monthly agreement, I'm free and clear of them. Woo Hoo!  Party on!

Transmissions are expensive

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This post has been included in the Carnival of Money Stories. Head on over to find out how other people are coping with debt and other matters financial.

You know the stereotype.  People who are in debt are that way because they are irresponsible and do things like buy expensive sports cars on credit. Right?

Right. My "expensive sports car" is a 10-year old Ford minivan. And the transmission needed to be replaced this week. $2300, thank you very much.

I got a lot of advice from people who don't know about my dire financial situation. Don't put money into the old car, they say. Suck it up and get a new car.

Not gonna happen. I still have another year to pay on our other car. The mileage on this beast is only 62.5K. We've had very few repairs so far.

So we fixed it. Sigh. BTW, in the course of the investigations this week, I learned that it is typical for Ford transmissions to go at 50K.

How'd we pay for it?  $1000 from the checking account. Guess it will be ramen for the next two weeks. $1300 on the credit card.

Yeah, I really splurge, don't I?

Where to send IRS Form 433-F

The number one search term on Economic Crunch is 433-F, which for those who don't specialize in arcane IRS form numbers, is the Collection statement for those trying to set up a payment plan with the Internal Revenue Service to take care of back taxes.

Most of those searches also are asking where to send the form. This link on the IRS web site itself, lists addresses for where to file the form based on where you reside.

In my own experience, the IRS lost the form and all the hard-compiled backup materials, so please MAKE A COPY FOR YOURSELF. If you are working with an IRS representative, verify the correct address with him or her as well.

You're welcome. Good luck.

(You can find the beginning of my own IRS nightmare story back here.)

You may also find these links helpful:
"Will Filing a Form 433-F Help?" IRS Problemsolverblog
Using Form 433-F, taxproblem.org

Where does my strength come from?

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Somebody asked me last week where I'm getting the strength to deal with our financial situation.

Strength?  I don't feel strong. I feel like a bowl of grape jelly, sinking to the lowest level possible. After two years of clawing and scratching, it doesn't feel like we've make much progress.

Of course we have. We still have the house--that's the main thing. We're starting to give the kids their childhoods back through creativity and, frankly, asking for help. (I almost wrote "begging" instead of asking. Pride, I suppose.)

My parents grew up in the Great Depression. I grew up in a comfortable middle-class family. My Mom and Dad fought about money all the time, but it was mainly about her not keeping track of her checks or spending more from the joint checking account than she was "allowed" by my Dad. He was a government employee--a military officer, and while that frequently disrupted our lives, we never wanted for necessities.

They are gone now. Mr. Poorhouse's parents are also gone. My sister lives 2000 miles away, and doesn't have time to keep in touch. His sister is closer geographically, but not psychically. His brother is mentally ill, homeless, and estranged. We have no family nearby to help with the kids or to hang out with on weekends. This mythical strength doesn't come from our families of origin.

I'm a regular churchgoer, but I wouldn't call myself spiritual. For me church is about the music. My parents were the same.

I like my job and my manager. I like my employees and coworkers. But they have no clue that any of this is going on, nor would I want them too. Work is almost an escape hatch, but I wouldn't call it a source of strength.

Friends?  I still have my high school and college friends. They are flung to the ends of the country. I enjoy talking with them when I can, and seeing them once a year or so when business takes me nearby. But we can't call our relationships close any more.

I have superficial relationships with online buddies with whom I share interests. Some of them I know in real life, some only in the intertubes. But there's only a limited amount of intimacy in those friendships. 

I know lots of people through my volunteer work, my neighborhood, my kids' schools. These are people that would be happy to ask me to teach Sunday school, bake cookies for a bake sale, give someone a ride, or head up a committee. They wouldn't just ask me to get a cup of coffee, see a movie, or have dinner, or come to a party unless they were trying to sell me Tupperware.

My kids are bright and funny and smart and affectionate. But they are also challenging. Paul is oppositional and moody. Prissy is, well, a pre-teen. I'm trying to make a good life for them. That could be a source of strength.

Mr. Poorhouse is the love of my life. He isn't good with money--he's happy for me to shoulder this burden. He's as beaten down by our situation as I am. He likes nice things, but he has gone without for a long time now without complaining. He's a source of strength. I can only imagine what it would be like if we fought the way my parents did about money.

I have myself, my kids, my husband, and my house. That's what's getting me through today.

No, I don't feel strong. Mostly I feel lonely.

Tax Penalty Abatement: Worth a Try

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Now that the IRS is no longer breathing down my neck (in other words, I'm in a payment plan) I'm beginning to wonder if they would consider abating the penalties they have assessed over the past several years.

According to a post at Financial Web, the IRS accepts 7 excuses for penalty abatement.  Now we're talking. Ever since my college days of talking professors into accepting late papers, I've been the excuse queen.

And I'm not just making empty excuses. I have shown a good-faith effort attempt to pay the debt, and we had extenuating circumstances at the time. (Number 6 on the list:

6. Lack of funds, but only when the taxpayer can demonstrate the exercise of ordinary business care and prudence

The interest and penalties can really add up (one might even say "compound") over time. In the same way that that bargain you put on your credit card can end up costing three times as much, the interest and penalties can dwarf the actual tax owed.

This is yet another example where sticking my head in the sand has done nothing for me.

So, first order of business, 2009 taxes.  Then, the abatement process. Wish me luck.

Which little piggy? Pay off debt? Or save for college?

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So here's a question I haven't been able to work out. My two kids are smart (or I like to think so) and I predict expensive tuition bills in our future, starting in about 6 years.

We have been saving for college (with some help from Grandma and Grandpa) since they were born.  What with the volatility in the markets and in our incomes, there isn't much in those 529 accounts.

We're in serious debt to the IRS, the State Department of Revenue, credit card issuers, business and mortgage lenders. Our current priority is to pay off the tax bills first and then start making a dent in the other debt.

We are contributing about 10% to my 401K plan at work, with a generous company match. (That seems like the right thing to do and keeps the taxes down on our current income).

So a friend of mind suggested that we'd be better off taking the money going to the 529 college savings plans (which grows tax-free) and using it to pay off our back taxes or other debt. That the more money the kids have when they go to college, the less financial aid they will get. We're not paying much into those accounts, but we're paying some, just to keep the habit going.

I've googled about this, but haven't seen it addressed by any of the debt-reduction strategists.

Thoughts?

TV Re-Bound

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In past posts (here and here) I have bragged about how much money we saved by cutting loose our TV service provider (cable/broadband/satellite). And we did save money for a long time.

But Mr. Poorhouse, who is the architect of these schemes, recently discovered that we could save money by adding TV service to our Verizon FIOS and phone package. That's right, we will now get hundreds of channels or so of TV plus high-speed internet plus local and long distance phone service for less than we were paying for just phone and internet.

What we have been doing for two years is watching TV on the internet (mostly hulu.com). A resurrected computer is hooked up to our 15-year old TV as a monitor and 20-year old surround sound stereo system. At first, we could watch anything we wanted anytime we wanted. Then the networks started putting restrictions on how long shows would be available, or putting delays between when they aired and when they were available.

But we never watched anything in real time anyway, so that didn't matter to  us. As a matter of fact, since we got TiVO our TV watching habits had changed so that watching TV is a social occasion. Have a comment to make?  Just pause the show. Need a bio break? Pause. No problem.

Well, we ditched the monthly TiVO charge with everything else when we cut back two years ago. But internet TV allows you to do the same thing, so we didn't miss paid TV at all.

Now, I confess, it is an adjustment going back to real-time TV. Yes, we could get a DVR, but we aren't willing to pay the monthly service fee to Verizon. But for a savings of close to $30 a month, I'm OK with losing the pause function.

Besides, Mr. Poorhouse has now hooked up both the Verizon set-top box and the computer to the TV-as-monitor and receiver. So we have the best of both worlds. For less.

You may say it sounds like we watch too much TV, and we probably do. But, given that our entertainment budget is practically nil, it works for us.

What are your strategies for keeping your monthly TV bill down?

Proscrastination

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I am such a procrastinator. I got my car inspected on the last day of January. Of course, there was a long line at the service station. Except I'm pretty sure all the other cars in the queue had their inspections expire in January. Mine expired in December.

Why did I wait so long?  I was afraid the car wouldn't pass inspection and so I would face an expensive repair. The car is going on 10 years old, and it's making a jingly sound like something you'd hear on Santa's sleigh.

It's not really logical to put it off, but it's part of my avoidance defense.  I don't have money for a major repair, so if I don't know about it, I don't have to face it, right?

This time, the story had a happy ending. The jalopy passed the inspection. I did a few errands while I waited. So, we're good for now.

Splurging on a museum trip

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With thousands of our closest friends at hand, little Paul Poorhouse and I braved our local science museum on Monday during the dreaded school vacation week.

Once upon a time, when we were solvent, we had a membership to this museum. And a membership is a good deal if you have a family of four or more and visit more than once a year.

It's not such a good deal if you're broke, though.

Our day at the museum lasted us from 3pm to 8pm and cost more than $120. For the two of us.

Why so much?  We paid for the museum admission, coat check, a special exhibit, a 3D movie, a snack at the snack bar, parking, and dinner at a diner on the way home.

We could have cut this substantially.

1. We could have used the free museum pass at our local library. Savings: $50
2. We could have packed our food. Savings: $30
3. We shopped on ebay after we got home instead of being at the mercy of impulse at the special exhibit gift shop. Savings: $30 [note: this was allowance money, not mine]

In all honesty, we would have had a much better time if we had chosen a less crowded day, but we wanted to have a special mother/son date, and this was his choice. But it was close, especially in the special exhibit. Not so fun, really.

Anyway, planning ahead would have made a real budgetary difference.

Kid skiing--such a deal

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Mr. Poorhouse and I don't ski anymore. As a matter of fact, the last time we went skiing was the weekend Prissy was, er, made. But we live in an area of the country where skiing is sort of part of the literacy. (That and skating.) But we're too old and fat to take the kids. I'm seriously afraid of falling and breaking something I might need. Mr. Poorhouse never did care for it.

Enter the Girl Scouts. For a price that's cheaper than what we would pay for lift tickets, they have a camp that includes lessons, equipment, and of course, overnight fun. And, they have financial aid, which brings the cost to less than the day camp we would have had to pay during her school vacation. (Although since it is an overnight camp, the cost is not reimbursable from our dependent care FSA.)

Prissy is there now.  She's supposed to have two full days of downhill skiing plus another day of cross-country and snowshoeing. Of course, I'm having some pangs. Is my baby really old enough for her own ski vacation?  Apparently so.

Do your kids ski?  It's an expensive sport. Any tips for holding down costs?

Negotiating camp prices

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This post has been included in the Festival of Frugality #218 at Think Your Way to Wealth.  Why not pop over and find some other interesting ideas for the frugal?

I came across this great camp program at a nearby university that I thought son Paul Poorhouse would love. But it was $100 a day. At most, my budget is $250 a week for vacation camp.

But this is a well-known insititution, and I figured I could ask if they have financial aid. It turns out the answer is "no". This particular program is run as a fundraiser. Hmmm.

A funny thing happened though.  The program coordinator e-mailed me back a few hours after giving me this information. Turns out that it was the last minute and the program was underenrolled, so she could give me a $100 discount.

And of course, since this is for a vacation week, it is reimbursable under my dependent care FSA. 

It never hoits to ask.

Saving money on eyeglasses

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Alert readers may have noticed that I mentioned my glasses cost $750. Well, as my aging eyes will attest, my near vision correction changes practically every year. That's a steep price--too steep for our budget.

So what did I do this year? I asked my optician (where I've been a customer for 15 plus years) if he could reuse the same (expensive) frames but put in new lenses. I confessed I just didn't have the money for a complete new pair. Plus I've been pretty happy with the rimless hyper-indexed glasses I've had for a few years now.

No problem.  Lots of people are in the same boat, he says. The glasses are now half the price.  And I get a little off for my insurance reimbursement. And I can use my pretax flexible medical spending account.

All good.

Do you have any tips for saving money on glasses or contacts?

Another day, another scholarship

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Prissy Poorhouse just found out she got a scholarship to a performing arts camp she wanted to attend this summer. Not only did they waive the tuition, but they are also contributing towards her airfare.

She's thrilled. Me too. I've very aware that this would not have been available without the generosity of people who can afford to contribute to the scholarship fund.

We are lucky the world has such people in't.

Credit easing up? Or credit score improving?

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Just this week I've noticed I've started to get credit offers in the mail again--for credit cards and refinancing the mortgage.

Now one of two things is happening. Either 1) my credit is improving, or b) credit is easing up out there.  The credit card offer I got yesterday actually included a 0% balance transfer offer.  Haven't seen one of those in a long time. (And of course, given my past experience with balance transfers, such a thing sends me running for the hills.)

And mortgage rates are pretty durn low. If my credit score wasn't so bad, I'd be thinking about a refinance myself.

I should probably mention that I have put myself on the do-not-mail list for credit card offers. (You can do that too at https://www.optoutprescreen.com.) But some offers always seem to sneak through. 

Now mind you, I'm not going to be taking out any new credit. I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt (which is now old and smelly).

According to the the recent quarterly survey of banks by the Federal Reserve, credit hasn't loosened up yet. (Reported by Market Watch).

So maybe this is a sign of spring in the winter of our discontented finances.

Have you noticed any changes in the availability of credit?

C.A.R.D law reverses order of credit card payment application--Woot

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This post has been included in the Carnival of Debt Reduction hosted by Ask Mr. Credit Card. 

I don't know how I missed this before, but in reading the fine print on my credit card terms and conditions, it appears that now payments will be applied to the highest rate charges first. As you may know, until now, the typical practice of big issuers was to apply payments to the lowest-rate balances.

Here's how it affects me.

I have had a Citibank card for a long time. I never used it for spending, just for balance transfers. I took advantage of a balance transfer offer of 2.99% for the life of the balance some time ago. A year or so later, I did the same thing for 3.99%. And 4.99%.

And then I got into trouble (business bad, husband unemployed), missed a few other payments, and got socked by Chase's universal default clause. You can find the back story here, here, and here. The Chase rate skyrocketed to close to 30%. After no luck negotiating with them to lower it, I decided to transfer the balance to a few other credit cards, including Citbank at something like 8%. But it was only for 8 months, not for the life of the balance.

At the end of the 8-month period, the Citi rate went up to 21.99%. I should mention during this period I hadn't been late on any payments to Citi or any other creditors. And I couldn't do much about it, because I didn't have the money to pay off the whole balance at once, and my monthly payments were going to the lower-interest debt.

But, thanks to the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility, and Disclosure Act (C.A.R.D), as of February 22, the payments will first go to the higher interest debt. Which gives me  a fighting chance of paying it off.

Polly's Pointers:

1. Check your credit card terms.  Some new fees are coming. Some good things might happen as well.

2. Be mighty careful playing credit card roulette with balance transfers. It's like gambling at the casinos. The house always wins. 

More information:
White House Fact Sheet

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